people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Come share oat with me in your robe
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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