I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
