Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize