I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
