Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
