Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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