oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
