its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
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But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
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I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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