This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
