Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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