Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i love accidental penises.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
