Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
