I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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