Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
