The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize