you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
