I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize