Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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