So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
