I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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