I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize