Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
