It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
