Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Houston, we have a blender
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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