He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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