is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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