it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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