You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Randomize
