I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
