I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
