we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I'm always down for nudity.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
