I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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