Dual....:-)
i don't like sucking hair
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
