I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
my phone needs a breathalizer
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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