Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
