we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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