Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
false alarm, still single
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
