I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
