She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
