I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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