can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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