Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
