Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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