OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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