i think my mom watched the whole time
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
