dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize