Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
