whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
