please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
