Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
