If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
