Your face is a jimmy john
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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