I accidentally burped into my bong.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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