I will die if light touches me.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
