she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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