i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Im part way to drunk.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
