My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
