I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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