I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
