Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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