Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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