why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
