Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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